Getting some things off my chest

[Chuck]

Yes, this is a bitchthread.

Let me start by saying this: I've never really felt 'in the inner circle' with you guys... ever. Even when we first acquired the forums from Storm's rule, I've felt very out of place and have contemplated going to other community simply because I felt very uncomfortable around you guys. Hence why I returned there for a brief stint before going "shit. I'd rather put up with Sean and his gang than this fuckhead."

This also applies to all the activities we've done as a site: MMO playing, troll raids, you name it. I had parts - big and small - in all of them, but still felt out-of-the-loop. I can't quite place my finger on why; especially since almost all of us have no relation to one-another whatsoever (besides being on the forums). You'd think I could easily get adjusted to everything, but I can't, and haven't for the past four or five years of being here (six or so of knowing you guys).

I'll be honest with you: I'm not the biggest fan of trolls and their subsequent trolling, or their 'humor.' Ever since Ryan arrived (not pinning the blame on you), there's been an enormous boom in it. I know I look like a hypocrite because I've taken participation in troll raids. I'm not trying to justify my actions, but I acted in those because I was practicing the "if you can't beat them, join them" logic. That only worked for a little while before my disdain returned ten-fold.

Why don't I like them, you ask? Because they bug me. Yep - simple as that. I'm not the only one who shares this issue, apparently, as multiple other members have complained about it through instant messaging and other off-board communication. I really do like you guys, honestly, but I'm growing more and more sick of you with each passing second.

On the advent of when trolling occurred; I literally lost all interest with Anfiniti... but something made me stay. What, you ask? Indecisiveness and forced inspiration. I had no desire of even staying here, yet I did so and contributed to the site anyway, for your sake. Doesn't it sound odd that a member with 6,815 posts - 2,000 or so made this past year - doesn't have any motivation at all? Frankly, I'm running very low on reasons why I should give a damn anymore and have considered leaving multiple times these past few months.

Why am I making this thread? 1: Because Liam pointed out how ridiculous I have been acting lately, and this forced mindset I have may very well be the cause of it. 2: I'm venting, because I am honestly sick and tired of dealing with shit spewed out by members like Sam, Ryan, Liam, Gwen, etc. 3: I may be speaking for those who still haven't said a thing towards this issue.

Why is this thread in "Get in or get out"? Because I'm considering the possibility of taking a very long - or permanent - leave. I need it, or else I'll be further and further impaired by issues I have with all of you. You guys are a fantastic bunch, the best I've ever known and talked to, and I even consider many of you friends... but I've grown very tired of your antics.

Maybe you guys will find a new multi-poster to poke fun at while I'm gone.

[Black Mage]

Hey.

Cut it out.

[Tall Man]

Your problem is your self esteem.

All you see is your post number. We dont want that. We want that nigga who goan be doin shit wit uz. you know what ah be sayin?

I think this is a copout, personally, but whatever. You'll be back, and you'll realize "God I'm a silly asshole, whining about this."

And if not, well, then you're FIRED

[Kyle]

Jeez, wonder why everyone's leaving.

Define "everyone".

[ZombieG]

Immediately Chuck, I know you don't like me. Just come out and say it.

Secondarily, as far as this "inner-circle" issue goes, I'm a little bit hazy on what this inner-circle is, exactly. Liam and I have been friends for ages, and outside of him I only talk to Bonnie and Gwen on a regular basis.

As far as trolling goes, that's one of the things I always liked about the place. Anyone can say anything, whether it matters or not. There have been several times when Liam's brought to my attention how I've been acting ridiculous, and I don't take it as an issue. However, he doesn't act like it's the end of the site as we know it, because it isn't. Your experience here is largely what you're going to make it, and that being said, most of the fun I've had here as of late has nothing to do with trolling. It's writing for the Wordpress, building the wiki, participating in the creative forum, so on and so forth. People don't actually read what I write on the Wordpress, but I do it anyway because it's something that's fun for me. There is no "inner-circle" about it, I do what's fun for me. Rarely ever does that constitute something such as being banned or ultimately driven off the site (2kdargon notwithstanding), so why not give something else a try? If you like MMO's, organize more parties of Anfiniti members on them. You have Live, try to orchestrate tournaments for members on whatever game. Anything, but if you really cannot enjoy yourself, then don't feel obligated to stay.

I'd honestly hate to see you leave though, because I think you're a good member. I have issues with you occasionally, but I do respect you for putting into the site what you have. If you mistake trolling as anything more than playful jest, apologies.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Damnit bro, you were always one of my favorite members here...and now your leaving? I know we never really got to know each other well, but I always thought you were one of the coolest people here. As for feeling like an outsider, what does that make me? Outside of talking to Sean and Josh on AIM, I really have had very little interaction with the rest of you. Am I going to leave over it? No, because I actually like most of the members here...even if I don't know most of them too well. Trolling happens at pretty much every forum in existence, and I have seen plenty of forums that were far worse about it than Anfiniti is. Ever been to WF? That whole place is a big flaming joke, and not a very funny one either. So hey, reconsider before leaving. My opinion probably means less than nothing to you, but I felt like speaking up anyway.

- Fin

[Myaku]

If you decide to leave, have fun. And if not, I really don't know what to say on that topic. But, the few times we actually communicated little or at all were amusing. And, I understand where you're coming from on the trolled threads, I really do. Which, that's most likely a reason I lurk and rarely post anything of meaning - to get any more involved in the board would just really bother me/piss me off after a certain point. And, vacations do help. So, if you're taking a break, by all means, enjoy it.

[Ehsivar]

I second Ryan and Myaku. No question. Either find meaning, or take a break. I wouldn't mind a little help on the wiki.

[Warmaster Hayato]

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Selim

I am honestly sick and tired of dealing with shit spewed out by members like Sam, Ryan, Liam, Gwen, etc.

I don't know why you brought me up, I was just defending my friend, Gwen. Don't put it on yourself and leave, that's your problem.