Grindhouse

[pariah]

Blood, babes, and brutality. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez bring you two tales of terror. Fast cars, quick wits and pus dripping zombies are viewable at your risk.

To spare everyone from me trying to write in the 60s to 70s grindhouse narrator style, I’ll continue at my normal writing. Here’s a basic review of Planet Terror, Death Proof and all of the others in-between.

Planet Terror
Robert Rodriguez directs the story of love, betrayal, a one legged go-go dancer and pus-bag infested people (presumably zombies). The plot itself wasn’t important to Planet Terror. Characters are introduced by the buckets, then killed and maimed respectively. The women are foxy and robust. The men are hardcore and cut throat. Planet Terror embraces its ridiculousness and runs with it. Never stopping for a breath, Planet Terror continues to bathe itself in mixture of running make-up and dripping ichor.


Death Proof

Stuntman Mike seems a nice enough fellow, until he’s in his car. Death Proof, as directed by Quentin Tarantino, is a gruesome tale of shapely women and a car that withstand the Grim Reaper himself. Although, Death Proof holds out better as an actual movie, it’s a Tarantino film; there is an excessive amount talking for about thirty minutes. Death Proof builds up characters and presents itself as a real film rather than a hokey hour and a half gore fest.

Afterthoughts

After the three hours of grainy screens and cheesy lines, I was still in giggles. Grindhouse is fantastically fun, bloody mess to wade through, certainly worth any horror movie buffs time and money. The fake previews (aside from Machete, which is supposed to be in production here soon) that were shown before and in-between directed by Rob Zombie, Robert Rodriguez, Edgar Wright, and Eli Roth were brilliant and left the audience in tears and gasps of shock and horror with their short faux previews of “Werewolf Women in the SS”, “Machete”, “Don’t” and (my personal favorite) “Thanksgiving (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbSKnL4WFJM)”.

The only problem with the films is the flow between Planet Terror, the previews and to Death Proof. Admittedly, Death Proof has a slow start and lots of dialog. It’s quite a difficult thing to settle down after a blood bath of zombies and ridiculous fake previews. Death Proof is like running smack-dab into a Tarantino’s chin; awkward and unexpected. Having Death Proof start off the gore fest would have giving the films a smoother feel and keep patrons in their seats when Death Proof come up.

True grindhouse fans will appreciate the movie and probably take more laughs from the film. If this is the closest anyone has come to watching a grindhouse film, then Planet Terror and Death Proof will still be an enjoyable time at the theaters. Horror fans will kick themselves if they miss these films in theaters.

[Joss]

I'm gonna see it probably next week sometime. With my work schedule, it effectively kills night-time activities.

[King Ames]

I better see it before it gets seprated into two movies I suppose.

[Shalashaska]

Good review, pariah.

Grindhouse had the intensity of a fried egg that oozed with so much gore and rich vitamins. No person should watch "Planet Terror" on a full stomach. Watching an person pop a pimple in this movie or getting a dozen or so one-liners are all about timing and presentation. I laughed at the thought of being in the same situation, surrounded by the infected, with hot twin baby sitters and guns blazing, it's the anthem of every dream I've ever had.

"Death Proof" on the other hand took its time. It was like waiting for a storm, you could feel the intensity build up. There is something about getting a car crash in four separate shots, one for each victim that dies in the car, really made for a rich experience. A good time was had by all, even though the B-movie experience might not be for everyone, most people will get a kick out of that absurdity.

[pariah]

"Death Proof" on the other hand took its time. It was like waiting for a storm, you could feel the intensity build up.

Was that after you woke up?

[Shalashaska]

I kept doing a talking motion with my hand directed at my friends.

Something tells me "Thanksgiving" won't be made into a film, but damn did it make sense.

*trampoline*

[pariah]

That *needs* to be made into a film. I'm not even kidding. I would see that movie constantly. It's just so dumb...

Maybe Sci-Fi will pick it up.

[Mobius]

=/ God. Who watches Sci-Fi anymore?

[pariah]

*I* do. Those sci-fi movies are what make people watch surprisingly enough. It's a huge jump in ratings for them. And c'mon. It's pretty fun doing MST to them.

I mean, a movie about Alien Mammoth Zombies? HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG WITH THAT FILM?

[ZombieG]

Yeah, Sci-Fi's got some dope CG artists. Shit's the new wave of CG technology.

The following review is a little late of course, but I always find it better to wait a little while until you can get past any initial bias and the let the experience sink in. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Could be either one at this point. Anyway...

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are two directors that really need no introduction. The two have directed movies that have almost redefined cinema, while keeping controversial and taboo subjects alive in movies that define black humor and irony these days. They've both had their major successes, and both have endured some lackluster movies(Rodriguez produced a Spy Kids movie and "The Adventures of Lava Boy and Shark Girl in 3D"). However, "Grindhouse" is a project that speaks directly to the core audience and in-crowd od both Tarantino's and Rodriguez's movies.

The idea behind Grindhouse was to do a double-feature of grindhouse movies, which were movies movies being sub-standardly shot with lackluster editing and often extremely grainy filming. While the concept sounds almost ridiculous, the complete irony of the idea is one of the strongest points of the film, as it become noir on general principle, much like the seemingly forgotten "Four Rooms," which could easily be seen as the precursor to Grindhouse with four individualized segments, two of which were done by Quentin and Robert.

While the idea is generally the same, the output is completely different. "Grindhouse" is a movie that really doesn't have any sort of theatrical precedence. The entire set-up of this movie is directed at fans of complete black humor, and you can deduce that from the first few minutes of the movie's seemingly fake "previews", like Machete, which was done by Robert Rodriguez. It features a Mexican being hired to assassinate a prominent US Senator until he gets double-crossed by his employer. Little does his employer know that Machete is the leader of a Mexican militia. Then, you have such instantaneous classics as "Nazi Wherewolf Women of the SS," and "Thanksgiving," Eli Roth's short, sweet and hilarious rendition of the popular "Halloween" series, featuring a hazy pilgrim terrorizing a town during Thanksgiving.

As soon as the preview are over, you're hit with a funky 70's screen piece of music, and it's a throwback to movies like Jackie Brown. That's when you know this movie isn't just for the casual movie goer.

First off is "Planet Terror" by Robert Rodriguez. Fresh off of the success of Sin City, Rodriguez brought violence that hadn't been seen in any of his movies before to the big screen. In keeping with grindhouse tradition, the movies dwells on cheese that you will oddly find seldomly cheesey, because it's stuck in between cameos of Fergi, herpes-inflicted "zombies," a mysterious El Rey character, and the infamous gun-leg toting independent spirit. Anyone who enjoyed teeth-gnashers like "Cabin Fever" are going to feel completely fellated by the movie, as you seldom get to see such spectacles as Quentin Tarantino's penis melting to the floor.

It will also settle the thirst for mind-numbing action, and does so well, but with such a healthy dose of humor. One person will get shot with a revolver, and his head will fly apart. Grenades blow off under peoples' feet, and they're unharmed as they're sent flying into the air.

Ironically, "Planet Terror" wasn't supposed to be one of Robert Rodriguez's principle movies, but that's what it ends up becoming. Sure, he done "Sin City." He's done the Mexican trilogy. None of them are such all-encompassing fun as "Planet Terror," though.

Then, you have Quentin Tarantino's movie "Death Proof," featuring Kurt Russel's amazing John Wayne impression. "Death Proof" itself is odd, though. Anyone intimately familiar with Tarantino's work knows how way out of center field this for him. The idea revolves around a serial killer, Stuntman Mike, who uses his car to kill his victims, and the movie itself is extremely dialog heavy.

You're introduced to a group of girls, the focal point essentially being a woman named "Butterfly," whose DJ friend has told her audience that if anyone wishes to meet Butterfly, they'll be at x bar at x time and they'll have to say x lines. Bewildered, Butterfly obliges. However, these girls are not the main characters. It's hard to go into detail without ruining it, but the strength of this movie is that it's impossible for you to figure out how it will end. You'll get attatched to characters, and they'll die. You'll be on the edge of your seat, waiting for a destructive and gory death scene, and it doesn't happen. Hell, you might even think Rosario Dawson is a complete bitch because of her prada-packing character. I did, until I realized that she's pretty much one of the sexiest women on the face of the planet.

As long as you endure the dialog, "Death Proof" is equally rewarding, as it completely toys with you.

All in all, "Grindhouse" was not only a fantastic idea, but the execution was amazing. Few movies in the next few years will be as clever or as entertaining as it was, or just as much complete fun. "Grindhouse" is the type of movie that makes you want to pick up a camera and do what these guys are doing. It's the kind of movie that feeds your need for irony and bypasses any sort of apathy, while managing to be extremely light-hearted.

Also, pay attention in Death Proof and you'll see Eli Roth planning on nailing some chicks. What a babe-magnet.