Mario Communist

[Solitary Seraph]

didn't write this, so don't go OMFG U THIEF.



To anyone raised in the 80’s, few names have such impact as the Super Mario Brothers do. We played their video games, watched their cartoon show, read their newsletter, bought their merchandise, ate their breakfast cereal, and even watched the piece of shit movie "The Wizard" starring the young, chubby cheeked miscreant Fred Savage because Super Mario Brothers 3 made an appearance. But aside from the slightly racist stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really insidious behind the scenes? The staff here at Murderize.com has found something more, something…sinister…lurking behind the mustached countenances of Mario and Luigi. We don't have enough evidence to prove anything, just a sparse trail of bread crumbs to follow. And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super Mario Bros. Beware brainwashed fools, for this stunning expose will change the way you look at your favorite Nintendo hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers, it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals into our impressionable minds!
Exhibit A: Mario’s Color Scheme If anything can be said about Mario, it is that he seems to wear quite a bit a red . It’s on his name, it’s the color of his suspenders, his super mushrooms, his flag, even his hat. But maybe this is all just a string of coincidences. Maybe the color red being all over Mario and his games means nothing. After all, he's not entirely red - his hair, shirt and shoes aren't....
http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Flower1.gif http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Flower2.gif Or are they? Is this just a random occurrence by the Nintendo programmers, or was red selected intentionally and with purpose?
Exhibit B: The People's Hero The inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom are portrayed by Nintendo as slow-witted, poorly coordinated beasts of burden. Even Toad, who oddly enough gets captured in every world, seems only able repeat a singular phrase. While Mario is supposedly fighting against a tyrannical Despot, we can see how expendable the people become when they hinder Mario’s bloodthirsty pursuit for power.
Exhibit C: King Koopa While Mario’s quest to save the princess seems genuine enough, we find ourselves easily distracted from the real result of this adventure- the deposition of the current monarchy. Few notice the significance of the villain of this game, King Koopa, being an actual king.
http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Koopa.gif
While Mario is smashing and stomping his way across the Mushroom Kingdom, a popular government is being overthrown! Does this not bring our minds to the Russian Revolution, where the entire Royal family was deposed and executed by communists? Is the portrayal of kings as vile reptiles not an important message? One wonders what will become of the Princess he is attempting to “rescue” once Red Mario seizes power himself… Exhibit D: Mario’s Flag Switching At the end of each level, Mario must remove a flag and raise his own. As with every other duplicit facet of this game, nothing SEEMS wrong here. But upon closer inspection the flags involved show exactly where Mario’s loyalties lie: http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Flagpole1.gif http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_PeaceFlag.gif Hmm a flag with the peace symbol on it. Your militant dictatorship can't have that, now can it Mario? http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Flagpole2.gif Once the castle is seized and the resident leader sacked (and thrown into a lake of fire), we see no more clearly what Mario’s intentions are, than when he raises his own flag of victory. What's that flying high over the ramparts? The Peace symbol of the Mushroom Kingdom? The Stars and Stripes? The Olive Branches of the United Nations? No, we can see quite clearly it’s the Star of Russia. Go check for yourself, these pictures are not faked. It's in the fucking game.
http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Flag.gif Exhibit E: Mario’s Family Resemblance? Video game heroes are traditionally people we would like to emulate. Sonic the Hedgehog is fast and quick-witted. The Contra commandos are total badasses, even if they die in 1 hit. And Link wields a cool sword and has a harem of hot fairy bitches waiting off of him. What kid worth his legos wouldn't want to be any of these fine role models? Why then, as their flagship hero, does Nintendo choose an overweight, big nosed plumber with an ungainly mustache and ridiculous suspenders? Why was this, the most unlikely heroic figure, chosen? Unusual yes…but deliberate? Looking at the evidence in light of this new Communist hidden agenda, the answer for this mystery is obvious. Mario, and his short-lived brother, are none other than cartoon representations of Joseph Stalin. Stalin was Russia's amicus humani, amor patriae or communist super man. So could this "super" Mario represent another "super" man? Well, that is for you to decide.
http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Stalin3.gif http://www.aethiamud.org/communist_mario/Communist%20Mario1_files/Mario_Stalin4.gif Based on the evidence, a sinister new picture emerges about our cherished childhood hero. What follows is a dramatization, based on what we believe is really going on in Super Mario Bros.


One peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom...

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[Sonic]

Someone has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much free time on their hands, and a very overactive imagination. Oo

[Solitary Seraph]

It's obvious it's stalinio's way of keeping you pacified.

[Sonic]

From the grave?

[Solitary Seraph]

Stalinio.

Not Stalin.

[Sonic]

He was given a mustache so people would see that he actually has a nose

[Solitary Seraph]

He was given a moustache because he's stalin.

[Kira Yamato]

I have to say, while being very....odd, it was indeed funny to see people call Mario a Nazi pretty much. Never thought I'd see that XD

[Sonic]

"Mario Mario" Named from Mario Segali (Named from Nintendo's landlord)
Originally "Jumpman" (Donkey Kong)

[Reku]

That's the character we've come to know and love..

What does America know? Communism is good.. =O

[Sonic]

I know Mario's past, you all speak lies.

[Solitary Seraph]

I have to say, while being very....odd, it was indeed funny to see people call Mario a Nazi pretty much. Never thought I'd see that XD Communist, buffoon.

[Kalimar]

It looks like someone's head is still in the Cold War..

[Shalashaska]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/307402

Mario on Newgrounds? Waaaa?

[Shokai]

What an idiot...he knows mario was around before Super Mario Bros. right? His color scheme and shit? There was a Donkey Kong before Super Mario Bros, so his color scheme arguement is utter shit...as is everything else.

[Pip]

My entire computer class, including the teacher thought this was hillarious.

[Anya]

Fear. FEAR.

[Viccica]

...>.>











Why the hell must you try to destroy Mario?

[Kalimar]

Jealousy and fear.

Mario is arguably the greatest video game mascot ever.

[Solitary Seraph]

or it could just be a joke! *GASP!*

[Ehgriez]

Seen it before and laughed so hard. but theres truth to it Xo

[Kalimar]

Of course it's a joke! I had a good laugh myself..

[Zuru]

I kenw that mario bastard was communist. That's why always played as Luigi. >> <<;

[Zaben]

after reading that post, all I have to say is BOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.



Further note for the guy, he forgot to mention how Mario and Luigi were Italian. Anyone remember Mussolini?

[Solitary Seraph]

Yeah, but Mussolini was fascist, so it didnt work. :(

[Zaben]

Wasn't he in kahoots with Stalin at some point?

[Solitary Seraph]

Nah, that was Hitler.

[Zaben]

I know Hitler and Stalin were married and had a hell of a lover's quarrel after the honeymoon, but I thought Mussolini was in there somewhere too.

[Solitary Seraph]

He was more of "dumdedum, gonna follow these guys, hyuck...OH SHIT MEAT HOOK!"

[Zaben]

ah. but he was in there, regardless.

how'd they kill him again? they got him and his wife, and hung them off a plane or off of the town square or some shid after he was overthrown.

nvm, checked wiki and read about the meat hooks and his mistress being the other who was nabbed.

[Sonic]

On a light pole

[Solitary Seraph]

beat him to death, drug him around town on meat hooks, then hung the bodies on said meat hooks upside down.

http://www.morticom.com/celebritydeathmussolini10.jpg

[Shalashaska]

Ahhhhh, democracy triumphs once again.

[Solitary Seraph]

It was actually by some communist fellow, I think.

[Zaben]

probably mario.

[Zuru]

I thought it was kind of too obvious to point out they were italian.