Getting some things off my chest

[Chuck]

Yes, this is a bitchthread.

Let me start by saying this: I've never really felt 'in the inner circle' with you guys... ever. Even when we first acquired the forums from Storm's rule, I've felt very out of place and have contemplated going to other community simply because I felt very uncomfortable around you guys. Hence why I returned there for a brief stint before going "shit. I'd rather put up with Sean and his gang than this fuckhead."

This also applies to all the activities we've done as a site: MMO playing, troll raids, you name it. I had parts - big and small - in all of them, but still felt out-of-the-loop. I can't quite place my finger on why; especially since almost all of us have no relation to one-another whatsoever (besides being on the forums). You'd think I could easily get adjusted to everything, but I can't, and haven't for the past four or five years of being here (six or so of knowing you guys).

I'll be honest with you: I'm not the biggest fan of trolls and their subsequent trolling, or their 'humor.' Ever since Ryan arrived (not pinning the blame on you), there's been an enormous boom in it. I know I look like a hypocrite because I've taken participation in troll raids. I'm not trying to justify my actions, but I acted in those because I was practicing the "if you can't beat them, join them" logic. That only worked for a little while before my disdain returned ten-fold.

Why don't I like them, you ask? Because they bug me. Yep - simple as that. I'm not the only one who shares this issue, apparently, as multiple other members have complained about it through instant messaging and other off-board communication. I really do like you guys, honestly, but I'm growing more and more sick of you with each passing second.

On the advent of when trolling occurred; I literally lost all interest with Anfiniti... but something made me stay. What, you ask? Indecisiveness and forced inspiration. I had no desire of even staying here, yet I did so and contributed to the site anyway, for your sake. Doesn't it sound odd that a member with 6,815 posts - 2,000 or so made this past year - doesn't have any motivation at all? Frankly, I'm running very low on reasons why I should give a damn anymore and have considered leaving multiple times these past few months.

Why am I making this thread? 1: Because Liam pointed out how ridiculous I have been acting lately, and this forced mindset I have may very well be the cause of it. 2: I'm venting, because I am honestly sick and tired of dealing with shit spewed out by members like Sam, Ryan, Liam, Gwen, etc. 3: I may be speaking for those who still haven't said a thing towards this issue.

Why is this thread in "Get in or get out"? Because I'm considering the possibility of taking a very long - or permanent - leave. I need it, or else I'll be further and further impaired by issues I have with all of you. You guys are a fantastic bunch, the best I've ever known and talked to, and I even consider many of you friends... but I've grown very tired of your antics.

Maybe you guys will find a new multi-poster to poke fun at while I'm gone. :p

[Black Mage]

Hey.

Cut it out.

[Solitary Seraph]

Your problem is your self esteem.

All you see is your post number. We dont want that. We want that nigga who goan be doin shit wit uz. you know what ah be sayin?

I think this is a copout, personally, but whatever. You'll be back, and you'll realize "God I'm a silly asshole, whining about this."

And if not, well, then you're FIRED

[Kyle]

Jeez, wonder why everyone's leaving.

Define "everyone".

[ZombieG]

Immediately Chuck, I know you don't like me. Just come out and say it.

Secondarily, as far as this "inner-circle" issue goes, I'm a little bit hazy on what this inner-circle is, exactly. Liam and I have been friends for ages, and outside of him I only talk to Bonnie and Gwen on a regular basis.

As far as trolling goes, that's one of the things I always liked about the place. Anyone can say anything, whether it matters or not. There have been several times when Liam's brought to my attention how I've been acting ridiculous, and I don't take it as an issue. However, he doesn't act like it's the end of the site as we know it, because it isn't. Your experience here is largely what you're going to make it, and that being said, most of the fun I've had here as of late has nothing to do with trolling. It's writing for the Wordpress, building the wiki, participating in the creative forum, so on and so forth. People don't actually read what I write on the Wordpress, but I do it anyway because it's something that's fun for me. There is no "inner-circle" about it, I do what's fun for me. Rarely ever does that constitute something such as being banned or ultimately driven off the site (2kdargon notwithstanding), so why not give something else a try? If you like MMO's, organize more parties of Anfiniti members on them. You have Live, try to orchestrate tournaments for members on whatever game. Anything, but if you really cannot enjoy yourself, then don't feel obligated to stay.

I'd honestly hate to see you leave though, because I think you're a good member. I have issues with you occasionally, but I do respect you for putting into the site what you have. If you mistake trolling as anything more than playful jest, apologies.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Damnit bro, you were always one of my favorite members here...and now your leaving? I know we never really got to know each other well, but I always thought you were one of the coolest people here. As for feeling like an outsider, what does that make me? Outside of talking to Sean and Josh on AIM, I really have had very little interaction with the rest of you. Am I going to leave over it? No, because I actually like most of the members here...even if I don't know most of them too well. Trolling happens at pretty much every forum in existence, and I have seen plenty of forums that were far worse about it than Anfiniti is. Ever been to WF? That whole place is a big flaming joke, and not a very funny one either. So hey, reconsider before leaving. My opinion probably means less than nothing to you, but I felt like speaking up anyway.

- Fin

[Myaku]

If you decide to leave, have fun. And if not, I really don't know what to say on that topic. But, the few times we actually communicated little or at all were amusing. And, I understand where you're coming from on the trolled threads, I really do. Which, that's most likely a reason I lurk and rarely post anything of meaning - to get any more involved in the board would just really bother me/piss me off after a certain point. And, vacations do help. So, if you're taking a break, by all means, enjoy it.

[Ehsivar]

I second Ryan and Myaku. No question. Either find meaning, or take a break. I wouldn't mind a little help on the wiki. :p

[Hayato]

:(

[Sam]

I am honestly sick and tired of dealing with shit spewed out by members like Sam, Ryan, Liam, Gwen, etc.
I don't know why you brought me up, I was just defending my friend, Gwen. Don't put it on yourself and leave, that's your problem.

[Zaben]

Join the club, Clod. The reasons I left Anfiniti originally wasn't over the whole wiki/de-hmodded spiel (though it did annoy me), but mostly because I felt the same way you do right now.

I felt more out of the loop after Ryan came along. Yeah, I know he doesn't try to do it intentionally and he hates fingers being pointed at him, but he has an ability, intentional or not, to draw fawning crowds to him. What Ryan likes often ends up being the new hype on Anfiniti, and it apparently causes some people (myself, Clod, a few others) to feel outcasted if they don't jump in. And trying to join in to fit in doesn't always result in the attempted accomplishment.

I mostly lost interest in Anfiniti when 4chan/encyclopediadramatica/trolling or whatever things started to become the big hype on Anfiniti. It started feeling less like a 'Everyone does their own thing and fits together' place and more like a 'keep up with the mainstream or get washed out' feeling, and being on the outside of in-jokes didn't help me feel motivated to participate in conversations.

So yeah, between the losing interest and feeling pecked on by Ryan, Liam, and Cloud, I finally just stopped coming to Anfiniti subconsciously. I realized it later, then decided I didn't even care to come back, so I just stayed gone until recently.

Since then, I realized I brought a lot of the crap on myself by running around as some sort of self-proclaimed prom king with my old hmod powers, so I stopped being emo about it, and my time off made me care more about things going on in the real world than on the internet. So now I can pretty much do whatever here and not give a damn about what happens (including making myself seem like some sort of pseudo-faggot with my constant conversations of taboo shit like penii). I wouldn't lose sleep if I left again, and I almost accidentally did so a few times already.

Anyway, I don't mean to derail your thread, so I'll get back to topic: A break doesn't hurt, and maybe it'll help numb any over-attachment to Anfiniti (or reflect on things and build up self-esteem). But I think it's safe to say that most people here have appreciated you and your time around the site. I always considered you part of my own 'inner-circle' when I was hmod, and that's the main reason why I took your and Liam's (who I considered the same) sudden distaste for me to be a depressing pill to swallow.

Regardless of what you decide, I think I can speak for everyone on Anfiniti when I say that there will be an empty chair at the supper table waiting for you when you feel like coming back.

[Atrophius]

You remember back when everyone here pretty much hated me and I thought you were nothing but a bunch of asshats? Yeah ... Those were good times. That really wasn't all that long ago.

I'm still not quite sure that I've really "fit in" here that well at all. In some respects, I feel the same way you do. Some of the antics I find quite funny, but others just annoy me. I just ignore it, though. The reason I keep coming back is because I do enjoy the place and I'm interested in helping out.

If you're genuinely gritting your teeth just to be able to stand being here, then that's a pretty good sign that you should at least take a break for a while. I don't think you should leave for good, because I personally enjoy you being around and think you've contributed greatly to the site. It wouldn't hurt to get away for a while, if it's really that bad, though.

Or, maybe you just needed to air your dirty laundry and you'll wake up today just fine. :p

[Hayato]

I'll make you come back.

[Viccica]

._.

But.. But.. I just came back! D:

-shakes fist- Curse you, Chuck!

Stay. =[

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Yeah well, people barely even notice my presence one way or the other :P

[pariah]

For the record, I also blame Ryan.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Yeah, but isn't Ryan kinda an easy target?

Everyone seems to be blamimg him for something :p

[Tomodachi]

If you feel like you're not "In the circle" whatever fucking circle that my be? I really don't think of it as one, I just think, "fuck I'm bored, where can I co have fun?" shit man. You need to have fun, and play fucking games. I just get really bored, and go for the gold. Stop srsbitching.

[Zaben]

It's Ryan's fault I shoot blanks.

[ZombieG]

I am the Hitler of Anfiniti, and my charisma knows no bounds.

Welcome to the holocaust of disgusting porn and image spam.

[Zuru]

What is this circle jerk that I seemed to have missed?

Well, later. For the record, you're probably more at place here than I am. All I bring to the table is a vagina but I stay. I don't stay up on the latest games or go out to the theaters every weekend and I'm hardly studied in computer lingo. You at least have the game scene down.

Buuuuut, if you decide to go then see you later.

[Zaben]

Holly, vaginas don't need education.

Now get back to your designated yiffing station.

[Solitary Seraph]

http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/8629/john20mccainhs4.jpg

[Chaos Bard]

...huh. Anfiniti feels like The Hills lately. >_>


Anyro, dude, I often feel the same way. Only person I talk to from this site on a regular basis is Sean, and you're second-most talked to. Whenever I get bored with antics here though, I don't go "RAUGH MAYBE A HIATUS" thread and see what people have to say about it... I just don't come around for a few days, period. Then I post spree for a couple days, stay off for a couple days. I mean, I love Anfiniti, despite the constant trolling stuff, but I cannot get on every. single. day.

So yeah, maybe you should just try that method.

[Ferret]

Anfiniti: Fit in somehow or get the fuck out.


Seriously though if you feel let out on stuff, start something up yourself.

[Hayato]

it's ryan's fault that i'm asian! :(

[Tomodachi]

It's ryan's fault I live inside a volcano

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

It's Ryan's fault that I am so unfunny!

[Zaben]

It's Ryan's fault my dog has herpes.












No, seriously. I saw what you were doing to the poor thing. :(

[DA_WAAAGH!]

<3 Bye chuck

[Zuru]

Holly, vaginas don't need education.

Now get back to your designated yiffing station.

You're a vagina. ;_;

[Sonic]

Right after I come back, too.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

He'll be back, they always come back.

[Viccica]

<--- Living proof of that. =p




I'll bug him on msn. Don't worry.

[NanakiXIII]

Anfiniti: Fit in somehow or get the fuck out.


Seriously though if you feel let out on stuff, start something up yourself.

Pretty much sums it up. I rarely fit in with anything that's done on the forums these days. I don't have the time, mainly. I've tried communicating with a few members outside Anfiniti, and it always turns weird and awkward and we never end up talking again. I probably come off as a creep or something. Mindless, Ferret, and Sean are the only people I ever talk to. I never talk to Ryan anymore, unfortunately.

I think maybe over time, a difference of musical tastes, interests, and humor has led to less posting, and less contact with members I used to be close with. Shit just changes, and you go with the flow.

tldr: Suck it up. Go make some real friends and stop relying on your desire to be in a virtual 'inner circle'. The internet only goes so far.

[Ferret]

Actually I was saying that he he felt left out, he could start up some silly threads of his own, wherein he took a central part.
Like my Simfiniti thread, and that threads where I drew stupid requests. Not to mention the thread I'm gonna make about that buzzard's head I've got in my freezer when I finally get around to dissecting it.

[NanakiXIII]

Not to mention the thread I'm gonna make about that buzzard's head I've got in my freezer when I finally get around to dissecting it.

This is why Ferret is the closest thing there is to a god.

[Zaben]

Thiorn would contest that remark.

But I'm not sure who would win. :/

[NanakiXIII]

Thiorn would contest that remark.

But I'm not sure who would win. :/

As of late, Ferret takes the position in my book.

<3

[Spawn]

Where the hell had Thiorn been? I feel like its been years.

Selim- So what? If you feel the need to leave then leave. If you feel like coming back..come back..You really shouldn't spend a minute of your time worrying about people on a forum making fun of others and whether or not your in their "inner Circle"

Man..grow up..

[Sam]

Man..grow up..

Man..grow up..

Man..grow up..

Go away, Spawn.

[greglife]

http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp180/greglife/ccc.jpg

[ZombieG]

http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp180/greglife/ccc.jpgWE GONE SAVE YO BABY

[Mit Man]

I can see how you feel, I think that way sometimes too, and it's one reason why I don't say, talk in the chatbox much, but I don't see it as the site rejecting me or anything, or like I need to be in the more outspoken groups at Anfiniti. I bring to Anfiniti what I want, and take part in discussions that I want to. Regardless of whether or not I'm in the middle of everyone's conversations, I still really enjoy the community here and the people we have as members, and enjoy just being a part of this site we've made: a site made out of rebellion to lame administration, and doing what we want.

Troll raids and whatnot, I'm not a big fan of them either, but I just don't participate in them and let people do as they please (unless it ends up adversely affecting our site as a whole, then I'd have issues with it). If it floats other people's boats, that's cool with me. Our site's about doing what you want, I think. So if you want to troll raid, go for it. Same goes for normal trolling around the site I think. I think it's funny sometimes, and sometimes I think it's not funny and just a troll to troll. If I don't like it though, I just don't acknowledge it. Look past it, and don't think you have to deal with it.

Anyhow, I personally think you fit in very well here. Even if you don't feel like you fit in to the Ryan crowd or something (luv u Ryan ;) ), the Ryan crowd isn't all of Anfiniti. Sure Ryan's active and in the chatbox a lot, but there are plenty of other members who could feel even more left out than you, who are still active on this site. Aside from mingling with the Ryan crew, you still make plenty of posts on video gaming, are one of the more active animu people here, and chime in on plenty of other discussions. A valuable member to Anfiniti.

It sounds to me like you need to just slow up your activity a little if you feel it's too much and that you're doing it out of obligation to fit in. Just post where you want, and participate as you feel like it. Anfiniti will become more enjoyable for you, and I think you'll see the value in what we've got going here.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

I honestly don't even know why I bother posting here, since anything I have ever said or done is completely and entirely irrelevant,un-noticed, or just not appreciated. Maybe it's just to kill time? I really don't fucking know anymore, but I would be lying if I said that i'm enjoying myself.

[Ferret]

You're the boring mortar which keeps the awesome bricks together. We can't do this without you man!

[Zaben]

I don't have anything against you. I think you might just be letting the assholes of the site get to you. They feed off of aggravated reactions.

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Just to clarify... I am not being chased out by anyone, I just feel like I don't contribute anything worthwhile or memorable to Anfiniti, and am just another face in a crowd of many. My leaving would have neither positive or negative consequences, and would be entirely unnoticed by most, much like any of the other absences I have taken from here. The current direction of the forum is more irritating than it is offensive, although it's probably their goal to be irritating. So yeah... I just don't see much of a point to posting here.

[pariah]

Who's even in "Ryan's Crowd"? Does Anfiniti have like...roaming internet hooligans that I'm not aware of?

[Solitary Seraph]

I am really getting tired of you people saying that it's Ryan's fault.

Ryan doesn't really do anything, especially compared to the people who do make me grit my teeth on a daily basis.

And if you think that you "don't matter" then think again: Anfiniti is a community. Without you, there is no community.

If you don't like the way things are going, speak up, don't just leave. Jesus Christ I've been trying to get you people to help me figure out what's wrong. I can't read minds!

[NanakiXIII]

I can't read minds!

...you...you can't?

[Indigo]

No, only I can.

[Viccica]

Ryan doesn't really do anything, especially compared to the people who do make me grit my teeth on a daily basis.

Do I make you grind your teeth?


'Cause y'know that's a really bad habit.










And if you think that you "don't matter" then think again: Anfiniti is a community. Without you, there is no community.

ZOMG NO WAI!






If you don't like the way things are going, speak up, don't just leave. Jesus Christ I've been trying to get you people to help me figure out what's wrong. I can't read minds!


/agree

[Pip]

This is still going on?

[Viccica]

This is still going on?

Seems that way. I'm just doing my whole contribute-without-contributing thing.





I'm the unfunny comedian kicking the metaphorical dead horse left and right.







Plus, I want to badger Sean. =p

[ZombieG]

Who's even in "Ryan's Crowd"? Does Anfiniti have like...roaming internet hooligans that I'm not aware of?If you're questioning it, you're not busy enough fawning over me.

Chop chop.

[dr. shitlizard]

Plus, I want to badger Sean. =p

HE ONLY WANTS US TO BE HAPPY

edit: bye clod miss u sorry i didn't reply earlier i was busy ruining anfiniti with ryan and his crew codename: RY'S CROWD

[Grim Oyster Kvlt]

Who's even in "Ryan's Crowd"? Does Anfiniti have like...roaming internet hooligans that I'm not aware of?

For the record, I don't blame Ryan for any of this. He's one of Anfiniti's best and most contributive members, and I feel he makes the forum better, and not worse.

[Ferret]

I'm in Ryan's Crowd. You too, can be in Ryan's Crowd (http://www.anfinitinetwork.com/forum/group.php?groupid=15).

[Mit Man]

You know, I don't think anyone actually said Ryan's crowd was bad.

@_@

[Solitary Seraph]

No, Cloud and Zaben said it was.


And other people.

[Atrophius]

Ryan ruined Anfiniti. :)

[Pip]

Radu4 ZombieG stop posting.

[Zaben]

Jesus Christ I've been trying to get you people to help me figure out what's wrong.

Ryan.

[Viccica]

I blame Communism.

[Tomodachi]

Ryan may have ruined anfiniti, but Sam's gonna make another uber haxor and overload the server again. I'm tellin ya it's gonna happen.

[Zaben]

Are you suggesting that Sam is in league with the Turks?

[Tomodachi]

Are you suggesting that Sam is in league with the Turks?

Abso-lutely